The fact that stars die was such a strange mind-baffling concept to me when I was younger. How can stars die? Our sun is a star. Does this mean that our sun… Yup, that’s exactly what it means.
And so, my preoccupation with death began at an early age. How do you hope to handle death? It’s a tough question because we are wired to live. We want things to continue rolling on, but these vessels of ours will not allow it.
Our minds may not accept it, but death is normal. Everything
dies. Hell, even the universe is slowly dying. There’s less energy being produced and as this great article puts it:
“The Universe will decline from here on in, sliding gently into old age. The Universe has basically sat down on the sofa, pulled up a blanket and is about to nod off for an eternal doze,” concludes Simon Driver.
I don’t know about you but that’s not a terrifying statement to me. Sure, this won’t happen for billions of years, but the thought is almost peaceful in a strange way. At the same time, we are not equipped to handle death – not very well, at least. There are places on this planet where death is a daily reality.
The horror that must pose. I cannot imagine living in war torn lands or under a brutal regime. Say what you want about America, but we have it pretty damn good here.
And maybe that’s part of our inability to deal with death, at least here in the States. We have such a problem with it that not even assisted death, or assisted suicide, is a given here. California just recently tried to pass the first assisted death laws in our state and there is backlash against this. Why?
The big reason has to do with religious beliefs. This seems extremely ironic to me, because if you’ve read the bible (and I have, cover to cover… explains why I’m atheist) you will see death sentences being handed down for petty reasons.
- Don’t wanna listen to ma and pa or get a little mouthy with them? Get your ass to the field and be stoned to death! (Exodus 21:17).
- What, you masturbated? DEATH – even though rape and adultery seem to be OK in certain cases! (Genesis 38:7).
- If a man rapes a woman, he just has to pay 50 shekels of silver and marry her. As for her, well, who cares, right? At least he won’t divorce her. Wow. (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)
- What, you didn’t bleed enough on your marriage night? DEATH! (Deuteronomy 22:20-21).
- You were raped? DEATH! That’s right, even the rape victim got shelled on this one. (Deuteronomy 22:23-25).
- A little inconsistency here with point 2 above… but why try to understand? It’s god’s will!
- Hungry? Careful what you choose or how you mix your food! (Exodus 23:19). Eating fat (Leviticus 3:17) or pork (Leviticus 11:7-8) led to death sentences. A fatty bacon cheeseburger is therefore damnation, but oh it’s so good!
- However, having someone in great pain who wishes to keep whatever dignity and sanity they have left is too much! You must live and suffer, because… GOD! God said in this instance, death is wrong because you are his vessel, his temple (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). Never mind that your temple is cancer ridden and causing insufferable pain.
Religion – I’m so over it!
So, I know I rambled a bit here, but back to the question: how do you hope to handle your death? Maybe I’m a bit morose, but I do think about this a lot. It is not out of concern for me but for that of my kids. They are still very young so I need to stick around a while, if only to help them traverse this crazy world we live in.
As for when that time comes, I hope to have the energy and clarity of thought to be able to exit this grand world peacefully, be that due to natural causes or of my own choosing. There really are no more details than that. I don’t have a master plan (yet) and I’m not sick, so I live and try to be a good person.
I do support assisted death or assisted suicide (semantics). I believe we should be free to choose what we do and what is done to our bodies. To me, this is a basic human right. You have no right to tell me what I can do with my life or body, and I would never presume to tell you what you should or should not do.
To romanticize this a bit, I will say this: I want to go out like a star… literally, a star.
This is how a star dies:
- They shine brightly for billions of years!
- Eventually, they run out of gas (hydrogen in this case).
- They will expand and become a red giant. Our sun will expand and engulf the earth at some point.
- Cooling begins and the star becomes a white dwarf.
- Star collapses into itself, a bunch of stuff happens and BAM – SUPERNOVA!
- Universe applauds and said star exists no more.
Not all stars become supernovas, but you get the picture. It’s really a beautiful thought, to me anyway:
- You live, with youth and energy and vigor shining brightly, guiding you to make something of yourself.
- You grow older and expand (wisdom?), perhaps helping fill the void in others’ lives.
- Then, you begin to contract and let that slow decline do what it does.
- Eventually, like everything else, you cease to exist.
There doesn’t have to be a meaning or a reason – it is just the way things are. It will happen to everyone and to everything. It will happen to me.
I’m OK with that.
Keplers Supernova
